To a growing Christian, internal conflict frequently intensifies, a puzzling and distressing "side effect" to sanctification or holiness. This inner turmoil occurs because the person is growing and is thus more intensely aware of how far he is from God's perfection. He begins to "see" God far more clearly than ever, and he becomes distressed because he realizes that he does not even begin to measure up to what God is.
He is ashamed of his impurity, that he is so rank with sin, that his character is so weak, that he allows his tongue to say things he knows he should not, that thoughts go through his mind that he knows are filthy. He sees hate in his character, which distresses him. But, if he were not growing, he would never have seen it! This revulsion is the very thing that makes him want to change.
An adult understands far more in a given situation than a child. It is a significant mark of the adult's experience and maturity. A professional grasps much more of his profession than a novice. This same principle is at work in the mind of the one growing in holiness. The expert is always more aware than the novice.
As an apprentice welder, many of the welds I had to make were on critical pipe joints, where there was perhaps 600-1200 pounds of steam pressure inside that line. Whenever I, not yet a journeyman welder, was assigned to a job in that kind of a high-pressure situation, my welds had to be inspected by a journeyman. I would make the weld, but the journeyman had to look at it. Frequently, I would make the weld and think I had done a pretty good job. The journeyman with all his experience would look at it and point out all the flaws in my weld. He could see from experience what my less-trained eyes and hands had failed to do.
In essence, this applies to our spiritual growth. Christians who are really growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ—being sanctified—begin to become distressed the more they learn and experience. They see their flesh lusting against the Spirit. They are being pulled in each direction. Many years before, they would not have even been aware of what was happening inside them. But they are beginning to become trained in the holiness of God, and it distresses them that they fall so far short.
